Adventures of a Wayfarer

So you may or may not have heard of this phenomenon called the Quarter Life Crisis. No, we are not talking about the Mid-Life Crisis, we are talking about the Quarter life crisis. You know the crisis that happens around the age of 25 (your quarter life). As most of you do not know, I minored in a field called “Human Development and Family Studies” during my coursework I took a class regarding the Transition to Adulthood. Now could you fancy that, a 22-year-old college student sitting in a class all about the theories behind what was happening at that exact point in life. Well, Fawk. I didn’t actually think this crazy thing would happen to me, but it just sneaks up and bites you square in the cajones and straight flips your world around.

So first and foremost, let’s look at what the experts say: What is the Quarter Life crisis?

It is the point at which one transitions from college into the real world (for those who do not attend college, this isn’t necessarily the same). There are multiple options to chose from, your life is unstable, and you need to focus on an occupation, however not necessarily. The trigger? You are thrown into the real world. You are burdened with this freedom of needing to make life choices. Unlike the midlife crisis that occurs because of the lack of choice, the quarter life crisis occurs because there is a multitude of choices to make decisions about. There are feelings of hopelessness, of what-in-the-fuck are you doing with your life, and feelings of disappointment that this is not what you thought life would be like. Anxiety is a HUGE emotion attached to this period in life. Making the “right” choices places a heavy weight upon our shoulders, we struggle everyday with the “is this the right choice” or “am I going to regret this choice.” You are constantly trying to seek out a fulfilling life, you ask yourself “who is the right person, what is the right job, who do I want to become, where should I live, is this going to work out, will I be happy,” etc. A lot of research suggests that there is a lack of preparation for this adulthood we are transitioning into. Yes we go to college, yes we have this fine ass expensive piece of paper that says, “Hey we totally have the knowledge, we can do this,” but we aren’t prepared for the other things that come along. Finances aren’t taught to students unless you take those courses. Education often focuses on academics, not necessarily real-world readiness. So there you are, fresh out of the big educational institution standing hopelessly amongst a myriad of real LIFE decisions to make. Thus, we have the Quarter Life Crisis.

So why the heck are you talking about all this shenanigans Courtney?

Well, I am currently transitioning (for the second time) from college to the real world. At 26 years old, I am struggling with all the decisions I have presented to me.  I literally just walked across the stage and was handed a very expensive piece of paper that says I am real world ready. But I certainly don’t feel ready. I remember sitting in my grad classes over hearing my fellow classmates talk, and as I talk to my friends, I have realized there is this common theme of words across the majority of conversations: Choices. Decisions. Life changing. What do I do next?

Therefore, I thought I would shed some light on this phenomenon that is not entirely mainstream (yet) and bring some information or food for thought to my generation who reads these twenty something revelations.

My quarter life crisis:

As JayZ once said, “I got 99 problems”…and no bitches are not one of them.So here I am trying to decide what comes next in life. All the thoughts of my world are streaming on repeat in my head: Where do I go with my career? Am I going to be able to afford rent? How in the heck am I going to start paying on my loans? Where do I sign up for these certifications? Am I certified? What do I need to do for__? How am I suppose to balance job searching with a part-time gig so I could afford all my expenses? Will my friends understand? Are they having the same struggles as I? What in the hell is dating? Will my boyfriend understand if I can’t split the check this time? Where am I going to live? Will I ever get a job? Holy heck, why the fuck does this posting want “at least _ experience,” but I can’t get experience unless you hire me!

My advice or at least what I’m trying to do: take a deep breath, stop what you are doing and sip on some coffee or tea, look around you, people watch, take a walk, be in this moment. Because this moment will soon pass into another moment, do you want to spend it worrying or enjoying?

I recently realized that things will work out. It may take a bit of time, but it will. I was playing the dating-game for a bit, trying to meet new people, put myself out there to see what I could offer and what the world had to offer. I didn’t really think I was going to meet anyone, honestly I wasn’t even sure if after being single for so long I was ever going to be “ready” to commit to someone. But as luck would have it, my now boyfriend, just happened to pop into my life and steal my heart. I am applying to jobs every day, talking to companies and yes anxiously checking my e-mail like a crazy obsessed person, but I am also enjoying the down time. I just spent two years living partially as a hermit, studying under my rock, neglecting relationships, forgetting to call my mom, daydreaming about the adventures I would have once I got that darned degree out of the way. Now I have some downtime. I can visit my friends, I can wander more in the city and take photos, I can paint to my hearts content, I can go out dates with Sam, I can make doctors appointments and get my hair cut and not have to worry about skipping clinical or missing class. Of course I am still freaking out, I am still uncertain of how I am going to pay my loans, when will I land a job (any job) and if I can afford to get that Starbucks chai tea I’ve been craving all week. However, I am heeding my own advice, and living in the moment as best as I can.

There is a real crisis of stress, anxiety, and fear. Don’t think you are alone. There are plenty of us Twenty-Somethings out there going through the same thing you are. We all have the weight of our choices, our decisions for our future, on our shoulders, but we also have today, this moment. Don’t waste today stressing over tomorrow. Breathe In, Breath Out. Look around. Take it in. This is your life, this is the Quarter Life Crisis, let’s try to take the “crisis” out and just live the “Quarter Life.”