Adventures of a Wayfarer

1. Driving the car

“Did you check your fluids?” This is the question I get every time I leave home to head back to Philadelphia. My dad is a car person, he grew up tinkering with cars, he can build a car from the ground up- in fact has done just that. I remember the first day I got my driver’s permit. I passed the test and walked out with that little scrap of paper saying I was able to drive with an adult in the car. Now remind you, I had never driven a car prior to that day. So there I am slip in hand walking out of the test center to my parents. My dad yelled to me “you pass?” I held up the paper smiling with all my book smarts shining. He tossed me the car keys and said “ok now drive us to dinner.” I swear I stopped dead in my tracks at those words. How in the world was I suppose to drive us to dinner, I only read the driver’s manual I didn’t know how to actually drive a car?! As you may have guessed that night I drove the family in the pouring down rain on the highway to dinner. My was mom in the backseat holding onto my brother for dear life, my dad in the seat next to me proud, and yet scared. We made it to dinner in one piece. But that day I learned something from my dad: If you are going to do something, you better be sure as hell ready to dive completely in. There is no “half-assing” things in life. If you’re going in, be prepared to handle it all.

2. Be aware of the news

My dad seriously watches the weather channel and CNN 24/7. I swear whenever I go home for a visit, one of those two channels are on- and they’re usually blasting. I tend to not know anything about the weather or even what’s going on outside my little bubble of life. I get up, get dressed and hop into my car to get to work or school. Now that I am in grad school, I barely catch a news report for the local area. I relay soley on social media for my news- which in itself is sketchy. I have always admired my dad for subliminally trying to instill the world in my life by watching CNN and the weather channel whenever we are home. If he isn’t watching CNN or listening to it, he’s got the newspaper open or he’s retelling stories about what is happening. My dad taught me that I should always be aware of what’s going on around me in the world. What if I miss something that really is affecting my life? How would I know if there is a crazy storm coming my way if I don’t make sure to check? He has unknowingly given me a worldly outlook and world smarts. I now make sure to take a moment and know what is going on in the news in order to live knowledgeable.

3. The world of dating

Boys are the dreaded boyfriend to all dads everywhere. I am the first born, and my dad’s only daughter. Of course every guy that I have ever been in contact with my dad has disliked. My ex was the only man he approved of in my years of dating, and that in itself took about 1.5 of the 3+ years to accomplish. My first boyfriend was the first boy my dad absolutely hated. He would tell me every day that he wasn’t a good guy and that he was going to break my heart because he wasn’t good enough for “his little girl”. My sixteen-year-old self was absorbed in the fact that a boy actually liked me and was paying attention to me. I had no self-esteem, I had not found myself yet. My first boyfriend was the biggest asshole. He hurt me emotionally, physically and mentally. He brought me down even more than I already was. When I finally had the courage to break it off with him, I came home crying and my dad just looked at me and said “I knew this day would come.” My dad has always known what boys would hurt me, and I have always tried to prove him wrong. I have come to realize that he is right in knowing that no guy is ever going to be good enough for his little girl. I recently had a conversation with him about how the dating game is extremely hard on my esteem and confidence. I have come to dislike it and at some points dread even chatting with a guy because for some reason first dates never turn into second ones. My dad told me “trust me, he’s out there looking for you.” Now for people who don’t know my dad, that isn’t something he usually says. He isn’t really mushy gushy and is usually very short with words. When he said that it made me realize what I had already known: that there is someone out there for me and he’s going through the same thing I am in hopes of finding me. My dad taught me that I should wait for the guy who is going to treat me right, not the guy who is going to play games with my head and my heart.

4. Summertime and the Food is fine.

I have always been someone who enjoys cooking. I hate the clean-up but my love for food runs in my family. My dad is the cook of the house. (Although my mom makes most of the meals). When it’s summertime, we all know we are going to get fed grilled everything. My dad grabs a steak, chicken, veggies, ribs, anything he can put on the grill and starts his magic. I would spend a lot of my summers watching my dad cook. He has a way with food that I have only seen a few times. He just grabs seasonings and toss them around. There is no measuring cups, there are no serving sizes; he just “feels” it. Most of the time, the food never tastes the same way twice. But that’s what he likes about it. He says that we should try to expand our taste buds. He always had me and my brother try just about everything once. At 9 years old, I remember my dad having us try some oysters. At that time I thought it was disgusting. I made that “BLEH” gross face and quickly spat it out in a napkin. Now at 25, I enjoy all types of sea food. I try just about everything nowadays. This lesson doesn’t just have to do with food, he taught me that life is too short to not try anything just once. If there is something for me to do, why stop myself from experiencing it, instead I should take a bite and see if I actually like it. You never know, you might hate it now, but years down the line you may laugh and realize you actually like it.

5. Use your green thumb

For anyone who knows my dad, they know he is a huge gardener. Every year for as long as I could remember, my dad has planted vegetables from cucumbers to tomatoes and everything in-between. I use to wake up in the summer days to the sound of my dad watering his ever growing garden in our backyard. When I’m home, I often help by picking the ripe and ready crops. People ask him how does he get his plants to grow so large and so juicy- because more often than not the zucchinis are giant and the peppers are spicy. My dad’s response is always the same: “I talk to them.” It sounds crazy and imagining it is even crazier. My dad, a bigger guy who looks like he’s in a motorcycle gang, outside in his greens just talking to some plants?! Honestly, however crazy it sounds he keeps doing it. He told me once that you have to treat the plant as if it were your friend. You give the plant love, the plant will give you love in the form of fruits and veggies. If you ignore the plant, and you just water it and expect it to give you what you want, then you’ll wind up with a crappy crop. This can be carried over into all aspects of life. Treat things the way you would want to be treated. Smile even to the grumpiest of people, your smile may change their day and provide something good in the long run. Just as the plants grow from my dad’s love, brighten this world with yours.