Adventures of a Wayfarer

I have had a lot of idle time lately and I don’t do too well with free time and being bored. I tend to get overly jittery. I actually start to act more like a crack addicted searching for his/her next fix. In fact, I have found I have many talents to which only free time could have led me to discover.

I somehow have an amazing vocabulary. I use the strangest, most unorthodox words in everyday conversations. Then, of course, my conversation partner looks at me like I have about four heads, and thus I must return to the wonderful world of laymen’s terms. This world, for someone as literary as myself, sometimes becomes a bit monotonous.

I also have found that idle time leads to a pretty amazing solo dance session. On most occasions, I don’t even use music. I just start dancing like there’s no tomorrow. I am clearly an extremely white girl with zero rhythm, therefore my dancing is more like a bunch of body thrusting and tends to look like I am seizing. When I do add a wonderful pandora station to my exciting dance party, my parents (whom I live with as a 25 year old college grad) begin yelling how the house is going to fall down from all my elephant stomping. Clearly free time does not suit my dance skills.

Now after I have a decently long dance party in my house, I get these cravings for food. I’m clearly not hungry at all, but I NEED to eat. I’m a kid in a candy store, I NEED something, anything, just one more bite, please! I don’t even want the chips, but I sit and eat half a bag before realizing the only reason I was eating the chips was because I was super bored and chewing crunchy goodness gave me a second of non-boredom?! Good thing I am way too skinny and gym-it-up most of the week.

I also realized that I talk a lot to myself, in a conversational, crazy person kind of way. I actually had a nice conversation regarding the fact that where I’m from we call subs, hoagies. This to me makes absolutely no sense considering the food joints to which we buy hoagies from are called “Subway”, “Quiznos Subs”, “Philly’s Subs” and “Wegman’s Subs.” Honestly, it’s completely mind boggling to me that some average Joe Schmoe walked up to the counter one day and decide “Well golly gee, I think I’m going to go outside the bun and order a ‘hoagie’ instead of a ‘sub/submarine.’ Makes perfect sense Joe. Thanks so much, your logic has given me minutes of serious debate with myself.

The wondrous amounts of free time I have had lately has proven to me that I, in fact, have a brilliant British accent and way to often I realize I’m talking in the said accent. I mean full blown talking to a clerk at the local Target one second I’m all “howdy sir” the next I’m all “top ‘o the mornin’ to ya, ol’ chap.” I suggest that once in a while, just to keep your life full of laughter, start talking with some kind of accent. It’s fun to confuse the shit out of people and it’s quite entertaining if I do say so myself.

I also waste tons of idle time on pinterest. Seriously people, I was so against that addicting site before, but now I think I need pin-rehab. I seriously spend hours just looking at ridiculousness, when I could obviously be actually cooking those recipes or shopping for those clothes. Pinterest is the heroin of the drug community, one injection and you’re hooked.

Other than the crazy conversations, dance parties, and the addition of barely used words to my vocabulary, I have realized that I tend to be way more sarcastic when I have too much time on my hands. I can’t help it. I have zero filter in the first place, add free time and boredom and you’ve got a deadly combination. I was recently called out at my job by my client’s nurse on the fact that I was being overly sarcastic to the point of rudeness to others who didn’t understand that I am extremely hilarious and don’t mean the majority of what comes out of my mouth. For my client’s nurse (who is beyond my level of sarcasm and bluntness) to call me out, just proves that my handling of free time is not up to par.

Well now that I have spent about 10 minutes entertaining you wonderful blogging folk, I have to admit this was the most productive thing I have done in about five straight hours. Those hours were filled with dancing, british accents, and a lot of pinning on pinterest. So how do you handle being bored with too much free time on your hands?